References

Frequently

Asked

Questions

Male Prostitution

By Aaron Lawrence,  ©2000

Click on any question below to read the answer, or proceed directly to the FAQ.


0.1 A Quick Note on Gender and Age

1.0 Prostitution: An Overview
1.1 What is prostitution?
1.2 Besides sex, what other services does a prostitute provide?
1.3 Is prostitution legal?
1.4 Do clients buy a prostitute's time, or specific sexual acts?
1.5 Do prostitutes work for themselves, or for a "pimp?"

2.0 Types of Prostitutes
2.1 What is a hustler?
2.2 What is an escort?
2.3 What does a stripper/dancer have to do with prostitution?
2.4 What do masseurs have to do with prostitution?
2.5 What is a body worker?
2.6 What is a callboy?
2.7 What is a cyber hustler?
2.8 How does the term sex worker fit into all of this?
2.9 Are porn stars considered to be prostitutes?
2.10 Are surrogate partners considered to be prostitutes?
2.11 Are professional dominants considered to be prostitutes?

3.0 Legality and Prostitution
3.1 What is soliciting?
3.2 What is pandering?
3.3 Is buying or selling prostitution services legal?
3.4 What are the penalties for prostitution and soliciting?
3.5 How can you tell a client/prostitute from an undercover cop?
3.6 Does an undercover police officer have to identify himself if you ask?
3.7 If a client removes his clothes, drinks, or has sex, does that mean he is not a cop?
3.8 How else can I protect myself legally?

4.0 Prostitution and Sex
4.1 What specific sexual services does a prostitute offer?
4.2 Should clients and prostitutes negotiate sex acts in advance?
4.3 Do prostitutes use condoms, and if so, for what?

5.0 Prostitution and Health
5.1 Do prostitutes have safe sex?
5.2 What STDs can be contracted?
5.3 How can I avoid these?
5.4 What other preventative measures can I take?

6.0 Prostitution and Money
6.1 What are going rates?
6.2 Do prostitutes negotiate their rates?
6.3 How do agencies and brothels handle money?
6.4 Is tipping expected?
6.5 Is the money expected in advance?
6.6 Do prostitutes give discounts for new or repeat clients?
6.7 Is it ever justified to refuse to pay all or some of a prostitute's fee?

7.0 Finding a Prostitute
7.1 How does one find an escort?
7.2 How does one find a hustler?
7.3 How does one find an erotic masseur?
7.4 How does one find a dancer that does "private shows?"
7.5 How does one find an underage prostitute?

8.0 Other Questions
8.1 Do prostitutes and clients ever fall in love with each other?
8.2 How should someone prepare for a meeting with a prostitute or client?
8.3 What is unprofessional behavior on the part of a prostitute?
8.4 What is unacceptable behavior on the part of a client?
8.5 How do illegal drugs factor into all this?
8.6 What do you do if an escort is not as described by himself/his agency?
8.7 How does one go about becoming a prostitute?

9.0 Emergency Information
9.1 What if a transaction turns into theft?
9.2 What if a transaction turns into violence?
9.3 What if a transaction turns into rape?
9.4 What if someone is accidentally exposed to HIV?

10.0 About the FAQ
10.1 Who maintains this FAQ?
10.2 What is the FAQ's disclaimer?
10.3 What is the history of this FAQ?
10.4 What if I have a correction, addition, or suggestion for the FAQ?





The Male Prostitution FAQ - v1.0
0.1 A Quick Note on Gender and Age
The term prostitute can equally refer to a female, male, or transgendered person.  For simplicity in this FAQ, the term prostitute is defined to mean male or a transgendered person who still has the male sex organs. Please note that this simplification is not done to dismiss the role, importance, or issues of women in prostitution. Prostitutes are also considered to be 18 years of age or older unless otherwise noted.


1.0 Male Prostitution: An Overview
1.1 What is prostitution?
In general terms, prostitution is the exchange of sex for money. Legally, prostitution is typically defined as an agreement to exchange a sexual act, either with the client or with another person, in return for money, drugs, or other considerations. There are exceptions definition, as covered in sections2.7, 2.8, and 2.9.


1.2 Besides sex, what other services does a prostitute provide?
The services that a prostitute provides vary widely. Some prostitutes provide no additional services.  They endeavor to do the absolute minimum and then leave. Other prostitutes are more customer-service oriented, and provide attentiveness, respect, warmth, understanding, and caring. A wide range of other services are often provided as well, including massage, HIV awareness, gay sex education, and referrals to gay resources. Some escorts even provide "tour guide" services. Others are even willing to purchase illegal drugs for their clients.

Some prostitutes also specialize in providing certain types of sex-related services which are not necessarily sex in and of themselves. For example, some prostitutes provide S&M services such as bondage, flogging, and role-playing. Others provide a wide variety of cross dressing services. There is as much diversity among these lines are there is in human sexuality.

In addition to all of this, prostitutes provide a number of hidden services for their clients, such as providing a nonjudgmental environment, discretion, and convenience.


1.3 Is prostitution legal?
The legality of prostitution varies from country to country. In some places it is legal, while in others it is extremely illegal and punishable by imprisonment or execution. In Western nations, the legality of prostitution is widely varied, although it typically never becomes more serious than a misdemeanor offense. See Section 3.0 for more information.


1.4 Do clients buy a prostitute's time, or specific sexual acts?
It depends on the prostitute and what the client chooses to negotiate for. Among hustlers, it is customary to negotiate for a specific act. The hustler will perform the agreed acts, provided the client does not take an unreasonable amount of time in the process. What is unreasonable is entirely subjective, and is resolved between the specific hustler and client.

Escorts, especially those in countries where prostitute is illegal or legally ambiguous, usually prefer not to discuss sexual acts in advance. Instead they agree to spend a set amount of time with the client. Because of their apprehension of discussing sex acts in advance, finding an escort that is willing to do the sex acts that a client seeks can be awkward and difficult. Tips on how to do this are discussed in Section 7.1.

Dancers are usually somewhere between the two extremes. Some dancers provide the best of both worlds, with a willingness to discuss sexual acts in advance and an agreement to stay for a certain length of time. Unfortunately others are the opposite and not only do not discuss sexual acts in advance, they are not even willing to agree to stay for a given length of time.

Erotic masseurs and body workers typically sell their services for a given length of time. It is generally assumed that their services will involve massage and masturbation, although there is some flexibility to this rule. Read Section 2.4 for more information on masseurs.


1.5 Do prostitutes work for themselves, or for a "pimp?"
In the western world, and indeed in many other countries as well, prostitutes work either as independent hustlers and escorts, or work for an agency and brothel.  The traditional "street pimp" phenomenon is relatively rare in western countries, although it does exist in some areas of the world such as Eastern Europe. Pimps typically recruit often underage males to work for them, and use a combination of intimidation, drug addiction, financial control, and violence to maintain power over them.

2.0 Types of Prostitutes
2.1 What is a hustler?
A hustler is a prostitute that finds clients through face-to-face interaction, usually in bars or on the streets. In the 1970's there were some prostitutes that used hustling as a way to pay for college. Nowadays virtually all regular hustlers are runaways and/or hustling to pay for drugs. Some occasional hustlers, especially those that work in bars, are dabblers who are hustling either for the thrill or for extra money. Hustlers tend to be young, although some work up into their mid-twenties or beyond.

Transgender prostitutes who work from the streets fall into this category, although the term hustler does not apply to them very well. Transgender prostitutes may be using their money to pay for drugs, but are more likely using it to save for sex reassignment surgery, hormonal treatment, and required counseling to obtain the former.


2.2 What is an escort?

Strictly speaking, an escort is a person who accompanies another person. Because of the illegal status of prostitution in many countries, many prostitutes refer to themselves as escorts to maintain some semblance of legality of their services. In reality, an escort is a prostitute. One who advertises through print ads, websites, chatrooms, and occasionally phone lines or call boxes. Other escorts work for agencies or brothels, in which case their employer obviously finds their clients for them.

Escorts are varied in their reasons for entering the profession. Some do so for drug money, while others do it to pay for college or other large expense.  A fair percentage (5-15% perhaps) even escort as a career. An escort may be an extremely upscale and educated individual, or may be a high-school dropout with an anti-social personality. Escorts are usually in their twenties or thirties, although some escorts escort up in their forties or beyond.


2.3 What does a stripper/dancer have to do with prostitution?
Men have enjoyed watching attractive dancers for thousands of years, and today is no exception. Many of these dancers work solely for tips, but other are happy to provide more intimate services to their patrons. Dancers who offer these services are said to be offering "private shows." Some establishments offer a legal (or sometimes mildly illegal) form of private show called a "lap dance."  These usually involve a small fee in exchange for a close-up view of the dancer and some touching and fondling. Occasionally a patron may even give the dancer a bit of oral sex during a lap dance.


2.4 What do masseurs have to do with prostitution?
In many cities and countries in the Western world, masseurs are required to be licensed by the state.  This is to distinguish between "real" masseurs (as licensed masseurs refer to themselves) and erotic masseurs. Engaging in any sort of sexual activity in conjunction with their work can be grounds for loss of this license.

In many communities, many masseurs practice a limited form of prostitution involving massage, masturbation, and occasionally oral sex. The vast majority of these masseurs are unlicensed, although some licensed masseurs discreetly practice this trade as well.

Oh, and just in case you're wondering, a masseur is a male. A masseuse is female.


2.5 What is a body worker?

In part because of the stigma of prostitution, and in part because the licensed masseur community is jealous of the higher pay that erotic massage services command, laws have been brought about to create penalties for selling massage services without a license. In the same manner that some prostitutes refer to themselves as escorts to protect themselves legally, so do many erotic masseurs refer to themselves as body workers. As long as they do not claim to be providing massage or to be a masseur, body workers are able to avoid violating massage licensing laws. They can, however, still be arrested in many areas for violating local prostitution ordinances.


2.6 What is a callboy?
A callboy is a generic term referring to any middle or upper-class escort. In particular, one who is very professional and skilled about his work.

Unlike the words hustler or escort, there is no generally-accepted set of criterion that can be said to define "callboy."


2.7 What is a cyber hustler?
A cyber hustler is a hustler who "walks the streets of the information superhighway." Specifically, they are escorts who find their clients using Internet chatrooms. The term "cyber hustler" refers to the fact that an chatroom is the closest the Internet can approach the face-to-face manner in which hustlers traditionally find their clients.


2.8 How does the term sex worker fit into all of this?
Sex worker is a broad term referring to anyone who works as a prostitute, adult video actor, phone sex worker, erotic masseur, or the like. The term is most commonly used in a political or academic context.


2.9 Are porn stars considered to be prostitutes?
Typically not. In many areas courts have declared that people hired to perform sexual acts on film for the purposes of distribution are not prostituting themselves.


2.10 Are surrogate partners considered to be prostitutes?

A surrogate partner is a professional who works in a three-way relationship with a sex therapist and his/her client.  The sex therapist assists the client in therapeutic matters, while the surrogate partner assists the client in a more sexual fashion. For a surrogate partner, the goal is not primarily physical. Rather, the objective of the surrogate partner-client pairing is to achieve the goals set by the sex therapist and the client.

Because of the counseling rather than hedonistic aspect of sexual surrogacy, courts have often upheld the legality of their work. California, for example, protects the rights of surrogate partners. Not all courts have agreed though, and surrogate partnering remains an illegal profession in Florida. In most states and countries the courts have not ruled on the subject.


2.11 Are professional dominants considered to be prostitutes?
A dominant is a male dominatrix, one who specializes in S&M services as a master. Theoretically, this work is legal. As long as the dominant is not providing sexual services, he cannot be arrested. Nevertheless, there are many other laws on the books that can be used to harass and arrest S&M practitioners.  Accordingly, professional dominants are careful to avoid attracting legal attention to their business.


3.0 Legality and Prostitution
3.1 What is soliciting?
Soliciting is the legal term for attempting to purchase prostitution services.


3.2 What is pandering?
Pandering is the legal term for selling prostitution services that someone else provides.  Running a brothel, escort agency, or "pimping" would all be examples of pandering.

3.3 Is buying or selling prostitution services legal?
Typically not. In the United States, prostitution is illegal in all fifty states except for a few counties in Nevada.  In these counties straight brothels are allowed in a strictly regulated fashion, although prostitution by independent sex workers still remains prohibited.

In other countries the laws vary widely. The Netherlands is one extreme which allows most forms of prostitution. Ireland is another, where prostitution remains forbidden The United Kingdom is somewhere in the middle, in that it allows independent prostitution in many areas, but outlaws brothels and escort agencies.

Unfortunately, the laws do not necessarily regulate the reality of the profession.  Street prostitutes in London, for example, are routinely arrested using laws against "loitering." In France, the prostitute is the only person that can use the money he earns. If his lover uses the money to buy food for the two of them, he can be prosecuted as a panderer. Many countries do not also enforce their laws on the books, or enforce them sporadically or in a corrupt fashion.

For more information on the legality of prostitution worldwide, check the World Sex Guide.


3.4 What are the penalties for prostitution and soliciting?
The penalties vary. In some countries the penalties involve a minor fine and/or brief jail time. In other countries the penalties can be as extreme as death. In general, as long as you are in an advanced nation which is not overly religious, you can expect a fine. Jail time is usually reserved for repeat offenders or those arrests which involve aggravating circumstances.

In recent years, some cities have cracked down on street prostitution in new and unusual fashions. St. Paul, Minnesota, for example, displays the pictures on the Internet of everyone arrested for prostitution or soliciting. Oakland, California seizes the cars of anyone arrested for soliciting a street prostitute, even if it is not their car. The cars are then sold at auction, with the revenues divided between the prosecutor's office and the police department. Note that in either penalty, a successful conviction is not required to impose the additional penalties.


3.5 How can you tell a client or prostitute from an undercover cop?
You can't.


3.6 Does an undercover police officer have to identify himself if you ask?
Nope. That's a myth.


3.7 If a client removes his clothes, drinks, or has sex, does that mean he is not a cop?
Nope. Department regulations generally prohibit these behaviors, but that does not mean the arresting officer plans to follow them. Female prostitutes have long known that police will sometimes have sex before they arrest the targeted person. They then lie about the encounter when filling out the police report and testifying in court.


3.8 How else can I protect myself legally?
3.8 How else can I protect myself legally?
Clients can protect themselves by hiring escorts and masseurs who have advertised in a publication or online for any length of time. Dancers are also legally safe to hire, as it is highly unlikely police would impersonate a male stripper and do their routine for the sole purpose of a prostitution-related arrest. Care should be taken as well when hiring escorts from agencies. When an agency is raided/shut down, it is common practice for the police to impersonate the staff for the next 24-48 hours to arrest as many clients as possible.

Prostitutes can protect themselves by keeping their numbers of clients down, and by not discussing or promising sex in advance.  This includes the initial part of a meeting as well. It is common practice for officers to say something like, "I'm nervous about anal sex, so can we just stay with oral?" Followed five minutes later by, "Was that $200 or $250 we agreed on?" If you answer both questions accurately, you have just give the police everything the need to know to arrest you. Avoiding discussions of sex and money makes the work very difficult, but is one of the few ways which significantly help reduce your chance of arrest.


4.0 Prostitution and Sex  
4.1 What specific sexual services does a prostitute offer?

It varies from person to person. The traditional services are kissing, cuddling, giving and receiving oral sex, and giving and receiving anal sex. Not every prostitute is willing to do all of those though.  Some prefer not to kiss, while others are strictly a top or bottom in anal sex.

Other escorts provide a variety of other sexual services as well, including watersports, shaving, S&M, fisting, bondage, barebacking, and the like. Generally these services are considered to be out of the typical realm of services of most escorts. If someone would like to engage in these activities, the should check with their escort in advance.


4.2 Should clients and prostitutes negotiate sex acts in advance?
That's a tricky question. Negotiating sex acts in advance is usually a good idea, to ensure compatibility, to prevent misunderstandings later, and to discuss safe sex requirements. Unfortunately, anti-prostitution laws make these risky to discuss in many areas.

Therefore, it is a good idea to assume that when hiring an escort, the prostitute will provide all of the traditional services as defined in Section 4.1. A masseur can be safely assumed to provide massage and masturbation. If a client desires more than these services, he should bring it up in advance in such a way as to minimize the legal risk for both parties. If a prostitute is only willing to do less than these services, he should make his limitations clear in advance. Hustlers and dancers should negotiate their acts with a client on a case-by-case basis, ideal in a way that limits their legal risk.

Of course, this is a theoretical ideal. As long as prostitution remains forbidden on both social and legal fonts, the industry will continue to have a complete lack of professional standards.


4.3 Do prostitutes use condoms, and if so, for what?
In this day and age almost all prostitutes use condoms. AIDS has impacted on the landscape of the world to the point where few are willing to risk their lives for the sake of their customers. Almost across the board, prostitutes require condoms for anal sex, regardless of who is the top or the bottom.

That being said, there has been a counter-movement of people who are openly having unsafe sex. Prostitutes are no exception to this movement, and some have recently been offering barebacking as a regular service. Many of these people are HIV-Positive, but certainly not all of them. Some are only willing to top without a condom, while others are willing to either top or bottom. Some prostitutes may even claim to have only protected anal sex, but are willing to forgo the latex "with the right person."

As far as oral sex goes, the vast majority of prostitutes do not require condoms when giving oral sex.  A few do, but for the most part they do not. Essentially no prostitutes require that they wear condoms while a client is giving them oral sex.


5.0 Prostitution and Health
5.1 Do prostitutes have safe sex?
Typically, yes. The vast majority of prostitutes require condoms for anal sex. Few require condoms for oral sex, and some are willing to forgo condoms in anal sex as well. Prostitutes are highly divided whether they will allow a client to ejaculate (cum) in their mouth, and even less are willing to swallow it.


5.2 What STDs can be contracted?
Unfortunately, many sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) can be transmitted anytime you are having sex with a new partner. Having sex with a prostitute has little to do with it. Sex can expose you to syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, HPV (genital warts), hepatitis, HIV (AIDS), nongonococcal urethritis, parasitic infections, and molluscum contagiosum. Not to mention crab lice and scabies. Fortunately, several of these are only minor irritations, and others can be easily cured as long as you see a doctor when you initially have symptoms.


5.3 How can I avoid these?
You can't be guaranteed to avoid them. Some diseases, like HPV, are easily transmitted in spite most people's best efforts. By far the best way to avoid STDs is abstinence.  The religious right is correct on that point.  If you live your life in a bubble, you will be protected from some (but not all) of the perils of the world. It isn't much fun, but it is much safer.

Assuming you plan to play, start by using condoms for all anal sex. If you do anything that involves playing with someone else's butt, whether topping, fingering, rimming, fisting, or whatever, avoid touching any part of your body, and always wash your hands when you are done. Unfortunately, this includes playing with your own dick. If you finger someone then stroke yourself for a while, you can contract genital warts that way. For even better protection, use latex gloves when fingering someone.

Using condoms for oral sex, and avoiding having cum or precum in your mouth is also helpful. Dental dams can be used for safe rimming as well. Dental dams are sheets of latex that act much like a condom. As a matter of fact, you can use condoms as dental dams. Just take an unlubricated condom, cut off the tip, then slice up the slide until the condom turns into a sheet of latex.  Just be sure not to wear the condom when you do this. : )


5.4 What other preventative measures can I take?
Have yourself vaccinated for Hepatitis A and B. All men who have sex with men should be vaccinated for them. Your doctor can easily do so, although he may be surprised by your request for a Hepatitis A vaccination. Since your doctor is legally required to maintain confidentiality as to the reasoning behind your medical requests, you can confide in him that you have sex with men and it is important you are vaccinated for it. Most straight doctors are not aware of this recommendation though, so do not be surprised he is surprised. Alternately, if you are a bit more bashful and do not want to come out to your regular doctor, have your local health clinic give you the vaccinations.

Becoming familiar with the visible signs of STDs in your partners will also give you an edge in avoiding STDs. If you can recognize potential STDs, you will be more likely to stop what you are doing before you are exposed. The Male Escort's Handbook has an excellent chart of what to look for.

Limiting your number of partners will also go a long way towards protecting yourself. In the case of prostitutes, consider developing longer-term associations with fewer people rather than numerous flings with many.

HIV-testing is also extremely important for men who have sex with men. Generally, men should be tested every year for the disease. Sexually promiscuous men should be tested every six months. Those that have sex with large numbers of men as well as those that engage in unsafe anal sex should be tested every three months.

Finally, learn more about the health issues facing men who have sex with men. The GayHealth.com Sexual Health Project is an excellent resource with which to start.


6.0 Prostitution and Money
6.1 What are going rates?

It varies depending on the country and the type of prostitute. In the United States, escorts typically charge $100 to $300 or more, with masseurs charging about half that of escorts. Hustlers charge $50 to $125 or so, although their rates may go lower depending on what the clients want to do and how desperate for money they are. In the Canada, escorts charge approximately the same rates, but in Canadian dollars rather than American. In the Netherlands, the brothels charge 225-250 FL, which exchanges to about $100. The worker in the brothel receives about 100 FL of that, which is about $40-45.


6.2 Do prostitutes negotiate their rates?
Hustlers and dancers almost always are willing to negotiate, but many masseurs and escorts hold firm to their rates. Agencies and brothels almost never negotiate, and certainly not with anyone who is not an extremely good client.


6.3 How do agencies and brothels handle money?
The agency has a set fee, of which the escort receives a certain percentage. It is customary for an agency to take one-third to one-half of the price, although the percentage may drop for longer visits such as overnight or multiple days. Brothels charge slightly higher because of their higher overhead, perhaps 40 to 60% of the fee. Agencies or brothels that charge more than those rates are usually exploiting their workers.


6.4 Is tipping expected?
Often, but not always. Among employees of brothels, yes. It is certainly expected as long as the worker provides at least an adequate level of service. Among hustlers, tipping is considered a way to reward the hustler for a job well done.  It is also highly useful if you want to gain his confidence and good graces in anticipation of future visits. For erotic masseurs, an extra $20 is always appreciated if they do a good job.

Escorts are a bit more problematic.  In general, the less an escort charges, the more appropriate it is to tip him. An escort who is charging less than $150 should almost always be tipped if he provides adequate service. The tip may be as simple as an extra $20, or can be rounding up the price to the next $50 bill or whatever. For escorts charging in the $150 to $250 range, it is optional, although more common for those charging in the lesser end of the spectrum.  For escorts over $250, tipping is usually not necessary, although always appreciated and remembered. It is an excellent way to thank them for an especially good time, or to receive extra-consideration for future appointments.


6.5 Is the money expected in advance?
It depends on the type of prostitute. Hustlers always ask for the money in advance. Many dancers do as well, especially those that provide a lower quality of service. Among escorts and masseurs, typically only the least trusting and least customer service-oriented escorts charge up front. Rookies (new prostitutes) may do so as well, as they have not learned what is customary. Most escorts and masseurs are willing to be paid after the encounter.

The exception to this rule is (and should be) if the prostitute has any reason to believe that the client will default on payment. For example, if the client's home looks as if it has not been cleaned in years, or if the home appears to be in dire need of repairs. Other warning signs are the presence of drugs, an appointment in an unusually low-income area, erratic behavior on the part of the client, unusually slobbish appearance on a client, if the prostitute suspects the client is drunk or high, or if the client attempts to renegotiate the prostitute's fee.

A good way for clients to reassure a prostitute that he will be paid is to have the money sitting in plain sight before he arrives.  As described before, some prostitutes will grab the money right away.  Most experienced sex workers understand what the money means, and will therefore not bring it up in advance. This is also a good way to avoid any discussion of money which may be legally problematic in case of a legal "sting" operation.


6.6 Do prostitutes give discounts for new or repeat clients?
Prostitutes do not give discounts for new clients, but they sometimes do for repeat ones. This does not mean a client will receive 20% off on his second visit, but rather that after five or eight or ten visits it will be appropriate for him to discuss the issue of a slightly better rate over the long-term. Prostitutes vary widely in their pricing systems and the reasoning behind them, so care should be taken to approach the issue respectfully.

On the flip side, prostitutes well-know where their money is coming from. If a client is hiring a prostitute on a regular basis, he will have a vested interest in keeping that client happy. This may be in the form of extra time during each visit, or may in the form of reduced rates or other considerations. When an escort or masseur raises his rates, often he will not do so for his more frequent or favored clients. It is entirely possible an escort is already giving the client a discount, but the client does not know it.


6.7 Is it ever justified to refuse to pay all or some of a prostitute's fee?

Yes, but rarely once more than five minutes has passed into the appointment. Ideally this situation should be addressed within the first few minutes. If a prostitute has clearly and significantly misrepresented his appearance, then he should be turned away. Similarly, if the prostitute is obviously not in condition to work, he should be sent away as well. In theory he should be given nothing in this case, although it may be worth $20 or cab fare to get rid of him.

Keep in mind this does not mean the client is allowed to hold unreasonable standards for a prostitute who advertises without a picture. For example, I was turned away once by a client who pulled out a picture of a very famous porn star. The client said he was hoping I would look like him. In another case I heard of a client asking an escort to leave after he measured the escort's dick at 8", and not 9" as the escort claimed. In general, as long as the prostitute has fairly represented himself, he is entitled to at least $50 of his fee, more if he has traveled more than an hour or late at night to the appointment.

Once the appointment begins it becomes far more problematic to turn a prostitute away with nothing. In general, the longer the appointment goes on, the less right a client has to turn away the prostitute with less or no money. True, it's a bummer when a prostitute does a lousy job.  But if he in fact did the job, he should be paid for his time. Justice can be served by posting accurate reviews of the person's lack of service on the Male Escort Review.


Losing money for poor quality service sucks, but it's better than having a prostitute become belligerent or angry about not being paid. Those prostitutes which provide very poor service are the ones you most have to watch out for. Far better to be out the money than to have him become violent.


7.0 Finding a Prostitute
7.1 How does one find an escort?
Lots of ways. The back of many local gay publications are filled with lots of advertisements form escorts. Unzipped magazine contains numerous advertisements as well. On the Internet, many escort referral-services contain advertisements from male escorts, in addition to the hundreds of individual escort homepages on the 'net. Use a search engine like Yahoo and use "male escort" as a search phrase.


7.2 How does one find a hustler?
In the United States it is becoming increasingly difficult to find hustlers, although most major cities have a hangout area. New York's area is to the west of Times Square, while Los Angeles's is along Santa Monica Boulevard. Worldwide the situation varies from country to country, but generally most major western cities have an area where the hustlers hang out. Post a message in the Male Escort Review's forum area to find out where, or pick up a copy of Joseph Itiel's, "A Consumer's Guide to Male Hustlers A Consumer's Guide to Male Hustlers."


7.3 How does one find an erotic masseur?
Look in the back of gay newspapers and you'll find a number of ads. Erotic masseurs do advertise on the Internet, but to a lesser extent than escorts. Some straight newspapers have advertisements from gay masseurs in their escort services section of the classifieds.


7.4 How does one find a dancer that does "private shows?"
Certain establishments are famed for their available dancers. The Gaiety in New York City, the Nob Hill Theater in San Francisco, and Remington's in Toronto to name a few. But even at these establishments the rule is the same. If you're interested in a private show, ask. Dancers are well-used to being asked this question.


7.5 How does one find an underage prostitute?
Underage prostitution remains one of the banes of the male prostitution community. True, some minors may enjoy having sex with an older man on occasion.  But such encounters should be done on an equal level, or better yet, one where the minor has a greater level of control over what happens. Yet by it's very nature, prostitution is an exchange whereby the client is in control of the situation. No matter how nice you are or how respectful you plan to be, it is inherently not in a minor's interest to sell sexual services. Working in this sort of environment for long can seriously skew a child's development. It's possible to emerge normal from working as an underage prostitute, but exceedingly difficult. A far more likely ending is that the minor will wind up on drugs, with HIV, and/or dead.

In other words, this FAQ isn't going to answer that question for you.  Shame on you for even asking.


8.0 Other Questions
8.1 Do prostitutes and clients ever fall in love with each other?
Rarely. The Pretty Woman phenomenon, even with middle-class folks instead of Richard Gere and his millions, is rare and essentially unheard of. It does happen, but usually the feelings are one-way. As a general rule, it's an extremely bad idea to fall in love with a prostitute or a client.


8.2 How should someone prepare for a meeting with a prostitute or client?
The client should make sure he has the agreed-upon fee, plus anything he may want to offer as a tip. He may also want to have enough money for an additional hour, in case he wants to go overtime.

From a physical standpoint, it cannot be emphasized enough how important it is for both people to be freshly showered and clean. This is especially true in the "anal department," even if you do not plan on being a bottom or being rimmed during the encounter. (The scent will waft to anyone giving oral sex).  Cleaning one's anus during their morning shower is nice, but even a few hours later it is no longer clean. Just one bowel movement makes the entire area dirty. Despite one's best effort to use toilet paper to make it clean, it takes soap and water to do the job. So before you meet up with a prostitute, take a few moments to use the bathroom and clean your anus off with soap and water.  Or better yet, take another shower before the meeting.

Many bottoms prefer to use enemas to prepare for anal sex. This is fine, but care should be taken not to use too much water. While most comes back out immediately, some of the water winds up in the colon, and comes back out as a filthy, watery mess during anal sex. This can be avoided by using lesser volumes of water during an enema. If you are still concerned about being clean, simply give yourself a second lesser enema once the first is complete.

Oh, bottoms should also make a point of using the bathroom to empty their rectum before anal sex, even if they do not think they need to go. Every escort who has ever fingered a client knows that often you may feel something unpleasant in there that the client is not aware of. Don't forget to clean yourself after that, too.


8.3 What is unprofessional behavior on the part of a prostitute?
Anything that significantly detracts from the escort's intention or ability to give the client a good time. Specifically, this includes making new demands for money, refusing without good reason to perform agreed-upon sexual acts, interrupting the session to answer phone calls or pagers, being atrociously late to the appointment, showing up high or drunk, and the like. Generally speaking, use your common sense. If the prostitute is doing something that ruins the mood for the client, it is either unprofessional behavior or may just be a "chemistry problem" between the two.


8.4 What is unacceptable behavior on the part of a client?
Any behavior, done intentionally or unintentionally, that shows a lack of respect for the prostitute or his work. This includes showing up abnormally smelly or dirty, being drunk or high, putting the prostitute at risk for STDs without his full knowledge and consent, attempting to videotape or photograph the encounter without his consent, using drugs in front of a prostitute who does not, attempting to renegotiate the prostitute's fee, or anything else that is clearly outside the boundaries of common courtesy and the agreement between both parties.


8.5 How do illegal drugs factor into all this?
Many prostitutes and clients alike use illegal drugs. This ranges from smoking pot all the way up to freebasing. Predictably along with drugs goes an increased chance of violence and higher rates of STD transmission. Accordingly most non-drug using prostitutes and clients prefer to stay far away from drugs.

Unfortunately there is no foolproof way of making sure a client or prostitute will be sober. Mentioning in advance that you do not hire escorts or serve clients who use drugs is the best way, although even that is not totally effective. Ultimately, you need to be prepared to walk away if the person in front of you is clearly under the influence. Just be sure to do so safely, as those who use drugs are often subject to violent and erratic behavior.


8.6 What do you do if a prostitute is not as described by himself/his agency?
Is the incorrect description a minor issue or a major one? If you requested a Nordic blond who is 6'2"and 180lbs with defined abs and a 8" dick, you have to accept that your request is overly-specific, and that they will match your request the best they can. Similarly, an prostitute who promises a 9" dick but only provides an 8" one by your measurements isn't a major problem either. Don't throw a hissy fit over that one, unless he specifically knew in advance you would meet him at your door with a ruler in advance. Clients should also keep in mind that it is routine for prostitutes to lie about their age, as the demand for younger escorts far outweighs the supply. If you wish to turn a prostitute away in this case, the client should pay him $20-$50 for at least showing up.

Similarly, if the prostitute shows up as described but the client simply does not find him attractive, he should receive partial payment before being dismissed.

On the other hand, it isn't good business for an agency to send a muscle top when the client requested a twink bottom.  If the person is clearly not as requested or described, he should be turned away politely but firmly.


8.7 How do I go about becoming a prostitute?
If you wants to become a street hustler, it's highly doubtful that you are reading this article.

If you want to become a dancer, then drop by your local strip show and ask the dancers how they got in the business. They'll be happy to answer your questions, especially if you tip then $20 for doing so. From there you can try out on the next amateur night, and begin learning how to arouse dozens of men at a time.

If you want to be an escort or erotic masseur, or even a hustler or dancer, you should pick up a copy of Aaron Lawrence, "The Male Escort's Handbook: Your Guide to Getting Rich the Hard Way."  The book will tell you everything you need to know to enter the business, advertise your services, work for clients, handle your money, and avoid the worst pitfalls of the industry. The book will be available in early October, 2000.


9.0 Emergency Information
9.1 What if a transaction turns into theft?
Sadly, there are some prostitutes that are more like thieves than sex workers, and clients who are no better than common robber-thugs. Avoiding them is not always easy, although they are far less common among upscale escorts.

In general, how you handle being robbed will depend on the amount that was stolen, and the laws surrounding prostitution in the community. If you pick up a hustler in New York City and he takes your wallet, don't even bother to report it. They're not going to catch the guy, and even if they do you may face charges for soliciting. On the other hand, I heard of an American escort in Australia that stole hundreds of thousands of dollars in antiques. The police were very supportive of the client, and before long arrested and successfully charged the thief.

So if someone robs you for under $2000 or so in an area where prostitution is illegal, you may want to accept the loss and move on. If prostitution is legal, you may want to go ahead and contact the police, especially if the amount is fairly significant or you can easily identify and track down the thief.

For larger amounts of money and valuables in countries where prostitution is legal, by all means contact the local police. If prostitution is illegal, immediately give your lawyer a call before you call the local police. And be sure not to disturb anything which may have the thief's fingerprints or DNA on them.

If drugs are involved in any of these cases, call your lawyer first. You may face severe penalties if the police become involved.


9.2 What if a transaction turns into violence?
In any sort of encounter, your first priority is to keep yourself safe from harm. This isn't always easy when a someone becomes violent, but do the best you can. If you are injured, immediately seek medical attention for your injuries. Be honest and up front about what happened.  Unless drugs are involved, it is highly unlikely that you will face any penalties for doing so.

Whether you are injured or not, make a point of telling as many people as you can about what the person did. A site like the Male Escort Review is a great place to start.

Sadly, when making the decision whether to call the police or not, in many countries it is a good idea to contact your lawyer first. Many police departments are completely insensitive to the plight of sex workers and their clients.  This is changing in some areas, however. Newark, NJ for example has an outreach coordinator specifically who works with female street prostitutes. Finding a contact like that person would be extremely useful when needing to report a crime, even in another jurisdiction.

I know this section isn't much help. Unfortunately, the laws are stacked against anyone who is subject to violence during a prostitute-client encounter. Bummer, eh?


9.3 What if a transaction turns into rape?
Rape and sexual assault are horrible to experience, but they can and do happen to adult men regardless of their sexual orientation

According to the New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project, if a male is raped he should:

- Get medical attention as soon as possible.
- Go to the nearest hospital emergency room that has a rape crisis program (see list on back of pamphlet) Although you may feel embarrassed about your injuries, it is important to receive medical assistance. Hospital staff frequently see such injuries to the penis, anus and other body parts, not all caused by rape or sexual assault.
- Get medical attention, even if you do not seem to be injured. Sometimes injuries that seem minor at first can get worse. Also you may have been infected with a sexually transmitted disease, which may take weeks or months to appear, but may be easily treated with an early diagnosis.
- If you are living with HIV/AIDS, especially if you are symptomatic, medical attention is particularly important. Exposure to another persons bodily fluids can further compromise your immune system, or trigger an opportunistic infection.

If you are raped while seeing a prostitute or client, you should immediately call your local Rape Crisis Center (look in your phone book for it, or call information). Or better yet, call the nearest city's Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project. Any gay info line should be able to direct you to one if one exists. Calling New York city's anti-violence project 24 hour emergency line (212-714-1141) may also help you find a resource in your area. Any crisis line you find will send an advocate to accompany you to the hospital to assist you in your time of crisis.  Do not be afraid of telling the advocate about the circumstances of the assault. The advocate will not summon the police, but will assist you in understanding and choosing your own options. If you choose to file a report, the advocate will also help you through initial meetings with the police, and will stand up for you on your behalf.

One more thing: Although it may be tempting to take a shower, do NOT do so before you seek medical attention.  Your perpetrator may have left DNA evidence in the form of semen, or fragments of skin under your fingernails.


9.4 What if someone is accidentally exposed to HIV?
Seek medical attention immediately.  There is a post-exposure treatment for HIV which is used by medical practitioners who accidentally stick themselves with HIV-infected needles. The treatment involves taking medications for several weeks, but it must begin within 72 hours of exposure. If you do not begin the treatment within that time, you are going to have an unpleasant wait until you are able to take your next HIV test.


10.0 About the FAQ
10.1 Who maintains this FAQ?
This FAQ is maintained by Aaron Lawrence (njescort@aol.com).


10.2 What is the FAQ's disclaimer?
This FAQ is intended to serve only as a basic reference of information on the Male Prostitution Industry. It is not meant to serve as a complete treatise of all information available about the community, as there are sometimes multiple correct answers to these questions.  The FAQ is not meant to serve as legal counsel or medical advice; appropriate professionals should always be consulted when making a decision which may impact your health or well-being. This FAQ also acknowledges that it was written by one author, and therefore is subject to all of his personal opinions and biases.

10.3 What is the history of this FAQ
Version 0.1 of this FAQ was released in August, 2000 to gather feedback and suggestions. The FAQ is not yet complete, and should be considered as a work in progress.


10.4 What if I have a correction, addition, or suggestion for the FAQ?
Please e-mail them to njescort@aol.com.

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