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References
Frequently
Asked
Questions
Male Prostitution
By Aaron Lawrence, ©2000
Click on any question below to read the
answer, or proceed directly to the
FAQ.
0.1 A Quick Note on Gender and Age
1.0 Prostitution: An Overview
1.1 What is prostitution?
1.2 Besides sex, what other services does a
prostitute provide?
1.3 Is prostitution legal?
1.4 Do clients buy a prostitute's time, or
specific sexual acts?
1.5 Do prostitutes work for themselves, or for a
"pimp?"
2.0 Types of Prostitutes
2.1 What is a hustler?
2.2 What is an escort?
2.3 What does a stripper/dancer have to do with
prostitution?
2.4 What do masseurs have to do with
prostitution?
2.5 What is a body worker?
2.6 What is a callboy?
2.7 What is a cyber hustler?
2.8 How does the term sex worker fit into all of
this?
2.9 Are porn stars considered to be
prostitutes?
2.10 Are surrogate partners considered to be
prostitutes?
2.11 Are professional dominants considered to be
prostitutes?
3.0 Legality and Prostitution
3.1 What
is soliciting?
3.2 What is pandering?
3.3 Is buying or selling prostitution services
legal?
3.4 What are the penalties for prostitution and
soliciting?
3.5 How can you tell a client/prostitute from an
undercover cop?
3.6 Does an undercover police officer have to
identify himself if you ask?
3.7 If a client removes his clothes, drinks, or
has sex, does that mean he is not a cop?
3.8 How else can I protect myself legally?
4.0 Prostitution and Sex
4.1 What specific sexual services does a
prostitute offer?
4.2 Should clients and prostitutes negotiate sex
acts in advance?
4.3 Do prostitutes use condoms, and if so, for
what?
5.0 Prostitution and Health
5.1 Do prostitutes have safe sex?
5.2 What STDs can be contracted?
5.3 How can I avoid these?
5.4 What other preventative measures can I
take?
6.0 Prostitution and Money
6.1 What are going rates?
6.2 Do prostitutes negotiate their rates?
6.3 How do agencies and brothels handle
money?
6.4 Is tipping expected?
6.5 Is the money expected in advance?
6.6 Do prostitutes give discounts for new or
repeat clients?
6.7 Is it ever justified to refuse to pay all or
some of a prostitute's fee?
7.0 Finding a Prostitute
7.1 How does one find an escort?
7.2 How does one find a hustler?
7.3 How does one find an erotic masseur?
7.4 How does one find a dancer that does "private
shows?"
7.5 How does one find an underage
prostitute?
8.0 Other Questions
8.1 Do prostitutes and clients ever fall in love
with each other?
8.2 How should someone prepare for a meeting with
a prostitute or client?
8.3 What is unprofessional behavior on the part of
a prostitute?
8.4 What is unacceptable behavior on the part of a
client?
8.5 How do illegal drugs factor into all
this?
8.6 What do you do if an escort is not as
described by himself/his agency?
8.7 How does one go about becoming a
prostitute?
9.0 Emergency Information
9.1 What if a transaction turns into
theft?
9.2 What if a transaction turns into
violence?
9.3 What if a transaction turns into rape?
9.4 What if someone is accidentally exposed to
HIV?
10.0 About the FAQ
10.1 Who maintains this FAQ?
10.2 What is the FAQ's disclaimer?
10.3 What is the history of this FAQ?
10.4 What if I have a correction, addition, or
suggestion for the FAQ?
The Male
Prostitution FAQ - v1.0
0.1 A Quick Note on Gender and
Age
The term prostitute can equally refer to a female, male, or
transgendered person. For simplicity in this FAQ, the term
prostitute is defined to mean male or a transgendered person who
still has the male sex organs. Please note that this
simplification is not done to dismiss the role, importance, or
issues of women in prostitution. Prostitutes are also considered
to be 18 years of age or older unless otherwise noted.
1.0
Male Prostitution: An Overview
1.1 What is prostitution?
In general terms, prostitution is the exchange of sex for money.
Legally, prostitution is typically defined as an agreement to
exchange a sexual act, either with the client or with another
person, in return for money, drugs, or other considerations.
There are exceptions definition, as covered in sections2.7, 2.8, and 2.9.
1.2 Besides sex, what other services
does a prostitute provide?
The services that a prostitute provides vary widely. Some
prostitutes provide no additional services. They endeavor to do
the absolute minimum and then leave. Other prostitutes are more
customer-service oriented, and provide attentiveness, respect,
warmth, understanding, and caring. A wide range of other services
are often provided as well, including massage, HIV awareness, gay
sex education, and referrals to gay resources. Some escorts even
provide "tour guide" services. Others are even willing to
purchase illegal drugs for their clients.
Some prostitutes also specialize in providing certain types of
sex-related services which are not necessarily sex in and of
themselves. For example, some prostitutes provide S&M
services such as bondage, flogging, and role-playing. Others
provide a wide variety of cross dressing services. There is as
much diversity among these lines are there is in human
sexuality.
In addition to all of this, prostitutes provide a number of
hidden services for their clients, such as providing a
nonjudgmental environment, discretion, and convenience.
1.3 Is prostitution legal?
The legality of prostitution varies from country to country. In
some places it is legal, while in others it is extremely illegal
and punishable by imprisonment or execution. In Western nations,
the legality of prostitution is widely varied, although it
typically never becomes more serious than a misdemeanor offense.
See Section 3.0 for more information.
1.4 Do clients buy a prostitute's time,
or specific sexual acts?
It depends on the prostitute and what the client chooses to
negotiate for. Among hustlers, it is customary to negotiate for a
specific act. The hustler will perform the agreed acts, provided
the client does not take an unreasonable amount of time in the
process. What is unreasonable is entirely subjective, and is
resolved between the specific hustler and client.
Escorts, especially those in countries where prostitute is
illegal or legally ambiguous, usually prefer not to discuss
sexual acts in advance. Instead they agree to spend a set amount
of time with the client. Because of their apprehension of
discussing sex acts in advance, finding an escort that is willing
to do the sex acts that a client seeks can be awkward and
difficult. Tips on how to do this are discussed in Section 7.1.
Dancers are usually somewhere between the two extremes. Some
dancers provide the best of both worlds, with a willingness to
discuss sexual acts in advance and an agreement to stay for a
certain length of time. Unfortunately others are the opposite and
not only do not discuss sexual acts in advance, they are not even
willing to agree to stay for a given length of time.
Erotic masseurs and body workers typically sell their services
for a given length of time. It is generally assumed that their
services will involve massage and masturbation, although there is
some flexibility to this rule. Read Section
2.4 for more information on masseurs.
1.5 Do prostitutes work for themselves,
or for a "pimp?"
In the western world, and indeed in many other countries as well,
prostitutes work either as independent hustlers and escorts, or
work for an agency and brothel. The traditional "street pimp"
phenomenon is relatively rare in western countries, although it
does exist in some areas of the world such as Eastern Europe.
Pimps typically recruit often underage males to work for them,
and use a combination of intimidation, drug addiction, financial
control, and violence to maintain power over them.
2.0 Types of
Prostitutes
2.1 What is a hustler?
A hustler is a prostitute that finds clients through face-to-face
interaction, usually in bars or on the streets. In the 1970's
there were some prostitutes that used hustling as a way to pay
for college. Nowadays virtually all regular hustlers are runaways
and/or hustling to pay for drugs. Some occasional hustlers,
especially those that work in bars, are dabblers who are hustling
either for the thrill or for extra money. Hustlers tend to be
young, although some work up into their mid-twenties or
beyond.
Transgender prostitutes who work from the streets fall into this
category, although the term hustler does not apply to them very
well. Transgender prostitutes may be using their money to pay for
drugs, but are more likely using it to save for sex reassignment
surgery, hormonal treatment, and required counseling to obtain
the former.
2.2 What is an escort?
Strictly speaking, an escort is a person who accompanies another
person. Because of the illegal status of prostitution in many
countries, many prostitutes refer to themselves as escorts to
maintain some semblance of legality of their services. In
reality, an escort is a prostitute. One who advertises through
print ads, websites, chatrooms, and occasionally phone lines or
call boxes. Other escorts work for agencies or brothels, in which
case their employer obviously finds their clients for them.
Escorts are varied in their reasons for entering the profession.
Some do so for drug money, while others do it to pay for college
or other large expense. A fair percentage (5-15% perhaps) even
escort as a career. An escort may be an extremely upscale and
educated individual, or may be a high-school dropout with an
anti-social personality. Escorts are usually in their twenties or
thirties, although some escorts escort up in their forties or
beyond.
2.3 What does a stripper/dancer have to
do with prostitution?
Men have enjoyed watching attractive dancers for thousands of
years, and today is no exception. Many of these dancers work
solely for tips, but other are happy to provide more intimate
services to their patrons. Dancers who offer these services are
said to be offering "private shows." Some establishments offer a
legal (or sometimes mildly illegal) form of private show called a
"lap dance." These usually involve a small fee in exchange for a
close-up view of the dancer and some touching and fondling.
Occasionally a patron may even give the dancer a bit of oral sex
during a lap dance.
2.4 What do masseurs have to do with
prostitution?
In many cities and countries in the Western world, masseurs are
required to be licensed by the state. This is to distinguish
between "real" masseurs (as licensed masseurs refer to
themselves) and erotic masseurs. Engaging in any sort of sexual
activity in conjunction with their work can be grounds for loss
of this license.
In many communities, many masseurs practice a limited form of
prostitution involving massage, masturbation, and occasionally
oral sex. The vast majority of these masseurs are unlicensed,
although some licensed masseurs discreetly practice this trade as
well.
Oh, and just in case you're wondering, a masseur is a male. A
masseuse is female.
2.5 What is a body worker?
In part because of the stigma of prostitution, and in part
because the licensed masseur community is jealous of the higher
pay that erotic massage services command, laws have been brought
about to create penalties for selling massage services without a
license. In the same manner that some prostitutes refer to
themselves as escorts to protect themselves legally, so do many
erotic masseurs refer to themselves as body workers. As long as
they do not claim to be providing massage or to be a masseur,
body workers are able to avoid violating massage licensing laws.
They can, however, still be arrested in many areas for violating
local prostitution ordinances.
2.6 What is a callboy?
A callboy is a generic term referring to any middle or
upper-class escort. In particular, one who is very professional
and skilled about his work.
Unlike the words hustler or escort, there is no
generally-accepted set of criterion that can be said to define
"callboy."
2.7 What is a cyber
hustler?
A cyber hustler is a hustler who "walks the streets of the
information superhighway." Specifically, they are escorts who
find their clients using Internet chatrooms. The term "cyber
hustler" refers to the fact that an chatroom is the closest the
Internet can approach the face-to-face manner in which hustlers
traditionally find their clients.
2.8 How does the term sex worker fit
into all of this?
Sex worker is a broad term referring to anyone who works as a
prostitute, adult video actor, phone sex worker, erotic masseur,
or the like. The term is most commonly used in a political or
academic context.
2.9 Are porn stars considered to be
prostitutes?
Typically not. In many areas courts have declared that people
hired to perform sexual acts on film for the purposes of
distribution are not prostituting themselves.
2.10 Are surrogate partners
considered to be prostitutes?
A surrogate partner is a professional who works in a three-way
relationship with a sex therapist and his/her client. The sex
therapist assists the client in therapeutic matters, while the
surrogate partner assists the client in a more sexual fashion.
For a surrogate partner, the goal is not primarily physical.
Rather, the objective of the surrogate partner-client pairing is
to achieve the goals set by the sex therapist and the client.
Because of the counseling rather than hedonistic aspect of sexual
surrogacy, courts have often upheld the legality of their work.
California, for example, protects the rights of surrogate
partners. Not all courts have agreed though, and surrogate
partnering remains an illegal profession in Florida. In most
states and countries the courts have not ruled on the
subject.
2.11 Are professional dominants
considered to be prostitutes?
A dominant is a male dominatrix, one who specializes in S&M
services as a master. Theoretically, this work is legal. As long
as the dominant is not providing sexual services, he cannot be
arrested. Nevertheless, there are many other laws on the books
that can be used to harass and arrest S&M practitioners. Accordingly, professional dominants are careful to avoid
attracting legal attention to their business.
3.0 Legality and
Prostitution
3.1 What is soliciting?
Soliciting is the legal term for attempting to purchase
prostitution services.
3.2 What is pandering?
Pandering is the legal term for selling prostitution services
that someone else provides. Running a brothel, escort agency, or
"pimping" would all be examples of pandering.
3.3 Is buying or selling prostitution
services legal?
Typically not. In the United States,
prostitution is illegal in all fifty states except for a few
counties in Nevada. In these counties straight brothels are
allowed in a strictly regulated fashion, although prostitution by
independent sex workers still remains prohibited.
In other countries the laws vary widely. The Netherlands is one
extreme which allows most forms of prostitution. Ireland is
another, where prostitution remains forbidden The United Kingdom
is somewhere in the middle, in that it allows independent
prostitution in many areas, but outlaws brothels and escort
agencies.
Unfortunately, the laws do not necessarily regulate the reality
of the profession. Street prostitutes in London, for example,
are routinely arrested using laws against "loitering." In France,
the prostitute is the only person that can use the money he
earns. If his lover uses the money to buy food for the two of
them, he can be prosecuted as a panderer. Many countries do not
also enforce their laws on the books, or enforce them
sporadically or in a corrupt fashion.
For more information on the legality of prostitution worldwide,
check the World Sex Guide.
3.4 What are the penalties for
prostitution and soliciting?
The penalties vary. In
some countries the penalties involve a minor fine and/or brief
jail time. In other countries the penalties can be as extreme as
death. In general, as long as you are in an advanced nation which
is not overly religious, you can expect a fine. Jail time is
usually reserved for repeat offenders or those arrests which
involve aggravating circumstances.
In recent years, some cities have cracked down on street
prostitution in new and unusual fashions. St. Paul, Minnesota,
for example, displays the pictures on the Internet of everyone
arrested for prostitution or soliciting. Oakland, California
seizes the cars of anyone arrested for soliciting a street
prostitute, even if it is not their car. The cars are then sold
at auction, with the revenues divided between the prosecutor's
office and the police department. Note that in either penalty, a
successful conviction is not required to impose the additional
penalties.
3.5 How can you tell a client
or prostitute from an undercover cop?
You can't.
3.6 Does an undercover police
officer have to identify himself if you ask?
Nope. That's a myth.
3.7 If a client removes his
clothes, drinks, or has sex, does that mean he is not a
cop?
Nope. Department regulations generally prohibit
these behaviors, but that does not mean the arresting officer
plans to follow them. Female prostitutes have long known that
police will sometimes have sex before they arrest the targeted
person. They then lie about the encounter when filling out the
police report and testifying in court.
3.8 How else can I protect
myself legally?
Clients can
protect themselves by hiring escorts and masseurs who have
advertised in a publication or online for any length of time.
Dancers are also legally safe to hire, as it is highly unlikely
police would impersonate a male stripper and do their routine for
the sole purpose of a prostitution-related arrest. Care should be
taken as well when hiring escorts from agencies. When an agency
is raided/shut down, it is common practice for the police to
impersonate the staff for the next 24-48 hours to arrest as many
clients as possible.
Prostitutes can protect themselves by keeping their numbers of
clients down, and by not discussing or promising sex in advance. This includes the initial part of a meeting as well. It is
common practice for officers to say something like, "I'm nervous
about anal sex, so can we just stay with oral?" Followed five
minutes later by, "Was that $200 or $250 we agreed on?" If you
answer both questions accurately, you have just give the police
everything the need to know to arrest you. Avoiding discussions
of sex and money makes the work very difficult, but is one of the
few ways which significantly help reduce your chance of
arrest.
4.0 Prostitution and Sex
4.1 What specific sexual services does a prostitute
offer?
It varies from person to person. The
traditional services are kissing, cuddling, giving and receiving
oral sex, and giving and receiving anal sex. Not every prostitute
is willing to do all of those though. Some prefer not to kiss,
while others are strictly a top or bottom in anal sex.
Other escorts provide a variety of other sexual services as well,
including watersports, shaving, S&M, fisting, bondage,
barebacking, and the like. Generally these services are
considered to be out of the typical realm of services of most
escorts. If someone would like to engage in these activities, the
should check with their escort in advance.
4.2 Should clients and prostitutes
negotiate sex acts in advance?
That's a tricky
question. Negotiating sex acts in advance is usually a good idea,
to ensure compatibility, to prevent misunderstandings later, and
to discuss safe sex requirements. Unfortunately,
anti-prostitution laws make these risky to discuss in many
areas.
Therefore, it is a good idea to assume that when hiring an
escort, the prostitute will provide all of the traditional
services as defined in Section 4.1. A masseur
can be safely assumed to provide massage and masturbation. If a
client desires more than these services, he should bring it up in
advance in such a way as to minimize the legal risk for both
parties. If a prostitute is only willing to do less than these
services, he should make his limitations clear in advance.
Hustlers and dancers should negotiate their acts with a client on
a case-by-case basis, ideal in a way that limits their legal
risk.
Of course, this is a theoretical ideal. As long as prostitution
remains forbidden on both social and legal fonts, the industry
will continue to have a complete lack of professional
standards.
4.3 Do prostitutes use condoms, and if
so, for what?
In this day and age almost all
prostitutes use condoms. AIDS has impacted on the landscape of
the world to the point where few are willing to risk their lives
for the sake of their customers. Almost across the board,
prostitutes require condoms for anal sex, regardless of who is
the top or the bottom.
That being said, there has been a counter-movement of people who
are openly having unsafe sex. Prostitutes are no exception to
this movement, and some have recently been offering barebacking
as a regular service. Many of these people are HIV-Positive, but
certainly not all of them. Some are only willing to top without a
condom, while others are willing to either top or bottom. Some
prostitutes may even claim to have only protected anal sex, but
are willing to forgo the latex "with the right person."
As far as oral sex goes, the vast majority of prostitutes do not
require condoms when giving oral sex. A few do, but for the most
part they do not. Essentially no prostitutes require that they
wear condoms while a client is giving them oral sex.
5.0 Prostitution and
Health
5.1 Do
prostitutes have safe sex?
Typically, yes. The vast
majority of prostitutes require condoms for anal sex. Few require
condoms for oral sex, and some are willing to forgo condoms in
anal sex as well. Prostitutes are highly divided whether they
will allow a client to ejaculate (cum) in their mouth, and even
less are willing to swallow it.
5.2 What STDs can be
contracted?
Unfortunately, many sexually transmitted
diseases (STDs) can be transmitted anytime you are having sex
with a new partner. Having sex with a prostitute has little to do
with it. Sex can expose you to syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, HPV
(genital warts), hepatitis, HIV (AIDS), nongonococcal urethritis,
parasitic infections, and molluscum contagiosum. Not to mention
crab lice and scabies. Fortunately, several of these are only
minor irritations, and others can be easily cured as long as you
see a doctor when you initially have symptoms.
5.3 How can I avoid these?
You can't be guaranteed to avoid them. Some diseases, like HPV,
are easily transmitted in spite most people's best efforts. By
far the best way to avoid STDs is abstinence. The religious
right is correct on that point. If you live your life in a
bubble, you will be protected from some (but not all) of the
perils of the world. It isn't much fun, but it is much safer.
Assuming you plan to play, start by using condoms for all anal
sex. If you do anything that involves playing with someone else's
butt, whether topping, fingering, rimming, fisting, or whatever,
avoid touching any part of your body, and always wash your hands
when you are done. Unfortunately, this includes playing with your
own dick. If you finger someone then stroke yourself for a while,
you can contract genital warts that way. For even better
protection, use latex gloves when fingering someone.
Using condoms for oral sex, and avoiding having cum or precum in
your mouth is also helpful. Dental dams can be used for safe
rimming as well. Dental dams are sheets of latex that act much
like a condom. As a matter of fact, you can use condoms as dental
dams. Just take an unlubricated condom, cut off the tip, then
slice up the slide until the condom turns into a sheet of latex. Just be sure not to wear the condom when you do this. :)
5.4 What other preventative measures
can I take?
Have yourself vaccinated for Hepatitis A
and B. All men who have sex with men should be vaccinated for
them. Your doctor can easily do so, although he may be surprised
by your request for a Hepatitis A vaccination. Since your doctor
is legally required to maintain confidentiality as to the
reasoning behind your medical requests, you can confide in him
that you have sex with men and it is important you are vaccinated
for it. Most straight doctors are not aware of this
recommendation though, so do not be surprised he is surprised.
Alternately, if you are a bit more bashful and do not want to
come out to your regular doctor, have your local health clinic
give you the vaccinations.
Becoming familiar with the visible signs of STDs in your partners
will also give you an edge in avoiding STDs. If you can recognize
potential STDs, you will be more likely to stop what you are
doing before you are exposed. The Male Escort's Handbook has an
excellent chart of what to look for.
Limiting your number of partners will also go a long way towards
protecting yourself. In the case of prostitutes, consider
developing longer-term associations with fewer people rather than
numerous flings with many.
HIV-testing is also extremely important for men who have sex with
men. Generally, men should be tested every year for the disease.
Sexually promiscuous men should be tested every six months. Those
that have sex with large numbers of men as well as those that
engage in unsafe anal sex should be tested every three
months.
Finally, learn more about the health issues facing men who have
sex with men. The GayHealth.com Sexual Health Project is an excellent
resource with which to start.
6.0 Prostitution and
Money
6.1 What are going
rates?
It varies depending on the country and the type of prostitute. In
the United States, escorts typically charge $100 to $300 or more,
with masseurs charging about half that of escorts. Hustlers
charge $50 to $125 or so, although their rates may go lower
depending on what the clients want to do and how desperate for
money they are. In the Canada, escorts charge approximately the
same rates, but in Canadian dollars rather than American. In the
Netherlands, the brothels charge 225-250 FL, which exchanges to
about $100. The worker in the brothel receives about 100 FL of
that, which is about $40-45.
6.2 Do prostitutes negotiate their
rates?
Hustlers and dancers almost always are willing
to negotiate, but many masseurs and escorts hold firm to their
rates. Agencies and brothels almost never negotiate, and
certainly not with anyone who is not an extremely good
client.
6.3 How do agencies and brothels handle
money?
The agency has a set fee, of which the escort
receives a certain percentage. It is customary for an agency to
take one-third to one-half of the price, although the percentage
may drop for longer visits such as overnight or multiple days.
Brothels charge slightly higher because of their higher overhead,
perhaps 40 to 60% of the fee. Agencies or brothels that charge
more than those rates are usually exploiting their workers.
6.4 Is tipping expected?
Often, but not always. Among employees of brothels, yes. It is
certainly expected as long as the worker provides at least an
adequate level of service. Among hustlers, tipping is considered
a way to reward the hustler for a job well done. It is also
highly useful if you want to gain his confidence and good graces
in anticipation of future visits. For erotic masseurs, an extra
$20 is always appreciated if they do a good job.
Escorts are a bit more problematic. In general, the less an
escort charges, the more appropriate it is to tip him. An escort
who is charging less than $150 should almost always be tipped if
he provides adequate service. The tip may be as simple as an
extra $20, or can be rounding up the price to the next $50 bill
or whatever. For escorts charging in the $150 to $250 range, it
is optional, although more common for those charging in the
lesser end of the spectrum. For escorts over $250, tipping is
usually not necessary, although always appreciated and
remembered. It is an excellent way to thank them for an
especially good time, or to receive extra-consideration for
future appointments.
6.5 Is the money expected in
advance?
It depends on the type of prostitute.
Hustlers always ask for the money in advance. Many dancers do as
well, especially those that provide a lower quality of service.
Among escorts and masseurs, typically only the least trusting and
least customer service-oriented escorts charge up front. Rookies
(new prostitutes) may do so as well, as they have not learned
what is customary. Most escorts and masseurs are willing to be
paid after the encounter.
The exception to this rule is (and should be) if the prostitute
has any reason to believe that the client will default on
payment. For example, if the client's home looks as if it has not
been cleaned in years, or if the home appears to be in dire need
of repairs. Other warning signs are the presence of drugs, an
appointment in an unusually low-income area, erratic behavior on
the part of the client, unusually slobbish appearance on a
client, if the prostitute suspects the client is drunk or high,
or if the client attempts to renegotiate the prostitute's
fee.
A good way for clients to reassure a prostitute that he will be
paid is to have the money sitting in plain sight before he
arrives. As described before, some prostitutes will grab the
money right away. Most experienced sex workers understand what
the money means, and will therefore not bring it up in advance.
This is also a good way to avoid any discussion of money which
may be legally problematic in case of a legal "sting"
operation.
6.6 Do prostitutes give discounts for
new or repeat clients?
Prostitutes do not give
discounts for new clients, but they sometimes do for repeat ones.
This does not mean a client will receive 20% off on his second
visit, but rather that after five or eight or ten visits it will
be appropriate for him to discuss the issue of a slightly better
rate over the long-term. Prostitutes vary widely in their pricing
systems and the reasoning behind them, so care should be taken to
approach the issue respectfully.
On the flip side, prostitutes well-know where their money is
coming from. If a client is hiring a prostitute on a regular
basis, he will have a vested interest in keeping that client
happy. This may be in the form of extra time during each visit,
or may in the form of reduced rates or other considerations. When
an escort or masseur raises his rates, often he will not do so
for his more frequent or favored clients. It is entirely possible
an escort is already giving the client a discount, but the client
does not know it.
6.7 Is it ever justified to refuse to
pay all or some of a prostitute's fee?
Yes, but rarely once more than five minutes has passed into the
appointment. Ideally this situation should be addressed within
the first few minutes. If a prostitute has clearly and
significantly misrepresented his appearance, then he should be
turned away. Similarly, if the prostitute is obviously not in
condition to work, he should be sent away as well. In theory he
should be given nothing in this case, although it may be worth
$20 or cab fare to get rid of him.
Keep in mind this does not mean the client is allowed to hold
unreasonable standards for a prostitute who advertises without a
picture. For example, I was turned away once by a client who
pulled out a picture of a very famous porn star. The client said
he was hoping I would look like him. In another case I heard of a
client asking an escort to leave after he measured the escort's
dick at 8", and not 9" as the escort claimed. In general, as long
as the prostitute has fairly represented himself, he is entitled
to at least $50 of his fee, more if he has traveled more than an
hour or late at night to the appointment.
Once the appointment begins it becomes far more problematic to
turn a prostitute away with nothing. In general, the longer the
appointment goes on, the less right a client has to turn away the
prostitute with less or no money. True, it's a bummer when a
prostitute does a lousy job. But if he in fact did the job, he
should be paid for his time. Justice can be served by posting
accurate reviews of the person's lack of service on the Male Escort Review.
Losing money for poor quality service sucks, but it's better than
having a prostitute become belligerent or angry about not being
paid. Those prostitutes which provide very poor service are the
ones you most have to watch out for. Far better to be out the
money than to have him become violent.
7.0 Finding a
Prostitute
7.1 How does
one find an escort?
Lots of ways. The back of many
local gay publications are filled with lots of advertisements
form escorts. Unzipped magazine contains numerous advertisements
as well. On the Internet, many escort referral-services contain
advertisements from male escorts, in addition to the hundreds of
individual escort homepages on the 'net. Use a search engine like
Yahoo and use "male escort"
as a search phrase.
7.2 How does one find a
hustler?
In the United States it is becoming
increasingly difficult to find hustlers, although most major
cities have a hangout area. New York's area is to the west of
Times Square, while Los Angeles's is along Santa Monica
Boulevard. Worldwide the situation varies from country to
country, but generally most major western cities have an area
where the hustlers hang out. Post a message in the Male Escort
Review's forum area to find out where, or pick up a copy of
Joseph Itiel's, "A Consumer's Guide to Male Hustlers A Consumer's
Guide to Male Hustlers."
7.3 How does one find an erotic
masseur?
Look in the back of gay newspapers and
you'll find a number of ads. Erotic masseurs do advertise on the
Internet, but to a lesser extent than escorts. Some straight
newspapers have advertisements from gay masseurs in their escort
services section of the classifieds.
7.4 How does one find a
dancer that does "private shows?"
Certain
establishments are famed for their available dancers. The Gaiety
in New York City, the Nob Hill Theater in San Francisco, and
Remington's in Toronto to name a few. But even at these
establishments the rule is the same. If you're interested in a
private show, ask. Dancers are well-used to being asked this
question.
7.5 How does one find an underage
prostitute?
Underage prostitution remains one of the
banes of the male prostitution community. True, some minors may
enjoy having sex with an older man on occasion. But such
encounters should be done on an equal level, or better yet, one
where the minor has a greater level of control over what happens.
Yet by it's very nature, prostitution is an exchange whereby the
client is in control of the situation. No matter how nice you are
or how respectful you plan to be, it is inherently not in a
minor's interest to sell sexual services. Working in this sort of
environment for long can seriously skew a child's development.
It's possible to emerge normal from working as an underage
prostitute, but exceedingly difficult. A far more likely ending
is that the minor will wind up on drugs, with HIV, and/or
dead.
In other words, this FAQ isn't going to answer that question for
you. Shame on you for even asking.
8.0 Other Questions
8.1 Do prostitutes and clients ever
fall in love with each other?
Rarely. The Pretty
Woman phenomenon, even with middle-class folks instead of
Richard Gere and his millions, is rare and essentially unheard
of. It does happen, but usually the feelings are one-way. As a
general rule, it's an extremely bad idea to fall in love with a
prostitute or a client.
8.2 How should someone prepare for a
meeting with a prostitute or client?
The client
should make sure he has the agreed-upon fee, plus anything he may
want to offer as a tip. He may also want to have enough money for
an additional hour, in case he wants to go overtime.
From a physical standpoint, it cannot be emphasized enough how
important it is for both people to be freshly showered and clean.
This is especially true in the "anal department," even if you do
not plan on being a bottom or being rimmed during the encounter.
(The scent will waft to anyone giving oral sex). Cleaning one's
anus during their morning shower is nice, but even a few hours
later it is no longer clean. Just one bowel movement makes the
entire area dirty. Despite one's best effort to use toilet paper
to make it clean, it takes soap and water to do the job. So
before you meet up with a prostitute, take a few moments to use
the bathroom and clean your anus off with soap and water. Or
better yet, take another shower before the meeting.
Many bottoms prefer to use enemas to prepare for anal sex.
This is fine, but care should be taken not to use too much water.
While most comes back out immediately, some of the water winds up
in the colon, and comes back out as a filthy, watery mess during
anal sex. This can be avoided by using lesser volumes of water
during an enema. If you are still concerned about being clean,
simply give yourself a second lesser enema once the first is
complete.
Oh, bottoms should also make a point of using the bathroom to
empty their rectum before anal sex, even if they do not think
they need to go. Every escort who has ever fingered a client
knows that often you may feel something unpleasant in there that
the client is not aware of. Don't forget to clean yourself after
that, too.
8.3 What is unprofessional behavior on
the part of a prostitute?
Anything that significantly
detracts from the escort's intention or ability to give the
client a good time. Specifically, this includes making new
demands for money, refusing without good reason to perform
agreed-upon sexual acts, interrupting the session to answer phone
calls or pagers, being atrociously late to the appointment,
showing up high or drunk, and the like. Generally speaking, use
your common sense. If the prostitute is doing something that
ruins the mood for the client, it is either unprofessional
behavior or may just be a "chemistry problem" between the
two.
8.4 What is unacceptable behavior on
the part of a client?
Any behavior, done
intentionally or unintentionally, that shows a lack of respect
for the prostitute or his work. This includes showing up
abnormally smelly or dirty, being drunk or high, putting the
prostitute at risk for STDs without his full knowledge and
consent, attempting to videotape or photograph the encounter
without his consent, using drugs in front of a prostitute who
does not, attempting to renegotiate the prostitute's fee, or
anything else that is clearly outside the boundaries of common
courtesy and the agreement between both parties.
8.5 How do illegal drugs factor into
all this?
Many prostitutes and clients alike use
illegal drugs. This ranges from smoking pot all the way up to
freebasing. Predictably along with drugs goes an increased chance
of violence and higher rates of STD transmission. Accordingly
most non-drug using prostitutes and clients prefer to stay far
away from drugs.
Unfortunately there is no foolproof way of making sure a client
or prostitute will be sober. Mentioning in advance that you do
not hire escorts or serve clients who use drugs is the best way,
although even that is not totally effective. Ultimately, you need
to be prepared to walk away if the person in front of you is
clearly under the influence. Just be sure to do so safely, as
those who use drugs are often subject to violent and erratic
behavior.
8.6 What do you do if a prostitute is
not as described by himself/his agency?
Is the
incorrect description a minor issue or a major one? If you
requested a Nordic blond who is 6'2"and 180lbs with defined abs
and a 8" dick, you have to accept that your request is
overly-specific, and that they will match your request the best
they can. Similarly, an prostitute who promises a 9" dick but
only provides an 8" one by your measurements isn't a major
problem either. Don't throw a hissy fit over that one, unless he
specifically knew in advance you would meet him at your door with
a ruler in advance. Clients should also keep in mind that it is
routine for prostitutes to lie about their age, as the demand for
younger escorts far outweighs the supply. If you wish to turn a
prostitute away in this case, the client should pay him $20-$50
for at least showing up.
Similarly, if the prostitute shows up as described but the client
simply does not find him attractive, he should receive partial
payment before being dismissed.
On the other hand, it isn't good business for an agency to send a
muscle top when the client requested a twink bottom. If the
person is clearly not as requested or described, he should be
turned away politely but firmly.
8.7 How do I go about becoming a
prostitute?
If you wants to become a street hustler,
it's highly doubtful that you are reading this article.
If you want to become a dancer, then drop by your local strip
show and ask the dancers how they got in the business. They'll be
happy to answer your questions, especially if you tip then $20
for doing so. From there you can try out on the next amateur
night, and begin learning how to arouse dozens of men at a
time.
If you want to be an escort or erotic masseur, or even a hustler
or dancer, you should pick up a copy of Aaron Lawrence, "The
Male Escort's Handbook: Your Guide to Getting Rich the Hard
Way." The book will tell you everything you need to know to
enter the business, advertise your services, work for clients,
handle your money, and avoid the worst pitfalls of the industry.
The book will be available in early October, 2000.
9.0 Emergency
Information
9.1 What if
a transaction turns into theft?
Sadly, there are some
prostitutes that are more like thieves than sex workers, and
clients who are no better than common robber-thugs. Avoiding them
is not always easy, although they are far less common among
upscale escorts.
In general, how you handle being robbed will depend on the amount
that was stolen, and the laws surrounding prostitution in the
community. If you pick up a hustler in New York City and he takes
your wallet, don't even bother to report it. They're not going to
catch the guy, and even if they do you may face charges for
soliciting. On the other hand, I heard of an American escort in
Australia that stole hundreds of thousands of dollars in
antiques. The police were very supportive of the client, and
before long arrested and successfully charged the thief.
So if someone robs you for under $2000 or so in an area where
prostitution is illegal, you may want to accept the loss and move
on. If prostitution is legal, you may want to go ahead and
contact the police, especially if the amount is fairly
significant or you can easily identify and track down the
thief.
For larger amounts of money and valuables in countries where
prostitution is legal, by all means contact the local police. If
prostitution is illegal, immediately give your lawyer a call
before you call the local police. And be sure not to disturb
anything which may have the thief's fingerprints or DNA on
them.
If drugs are involved in any of these cases, call your lawyer
first. You may face severe penalties if the police become
involved.
9.2 What if a transaction turns into
violence?
In any sort of encounter, your first
priority is to keep yourself safe from harm. This isn't always
easy when a someone becomes violent, but do the best you can. If
you are injured, immediately seek medical attention for your
injuries. Be honest and up front about what happened. Unless
drugs are involved, it is highly unlikely that you will face any
penalties for doing so.
Whether you are injured or not, make a point of telling as many
people as you can about what the person did. A site like the
Male
Escort Review is a great place to start.
Sadly, when making the decision whether to call the police or
not, in many countries it is a good idea to contact your lawyer
first. Many police departments are completely insensitive to the
plight of sex workers and their clients. This is changing in
some areas, however. Newark, NJ for example has an outreach
coordinator specifically who works with female street
prostitutes. Finding a contact like that person would be
extremely useful when needing to report a crime, even in another
jurisdiction.
I know this section isn't much help. Unfortunately, the laws are
stacked against anyone who is subject to violence during a
prostitute-client encounter. Bummer, eh?
9.3 What if a transaction turns into
rape?
Rape and sexual assault are horrible to
experience, but they can and do happen to adult men regardless of
their sexual orientation
According to the New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence
Project, if a male is raped he should:
- Get medical attention as soon as possible.
- Go to the nearest hospital emergency room that has a rape
crisis program (see list on back of pamphlet) Although you may
feel embarrassed about your injuries, it is important to receive
medical assistance. Hospital staff frequently see such injuries
to the penis, anus and other body parts, not all caused by rape
or sexual assault.
- Get medical attention, even if you do not seem to be injured.
Sometimes injuries that seem minor at first can get worse. Also
you may have been infected with a sexually transmitted disease,
which may take weeks or months to appear, but may be easily
treated with an early diagnosis.
- If you are living with HIV/AIDS, especially if you are
symptomatic, medical attention is particularly important.
Exposure to another persons bodily fluids can further compromise
your immune system, or trigger an opportunistic
infection.
If you are raped while seeing a prostitute or client, you should
immediately call your local Rape Crisis Center (look in your
phone book for it, or call information). Or better yet, call the
nearest city's Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project. Any gay
info line should be able to direct you to one if one exists.
Calling New York city's anti-violence project 24 hour emergency
line (212-714-1141) may also help you find a resource in your
area. Any crisis line you find will send an advocate to accompany
you to the hospital to assist you in your time of crisis. Do not
be afraid of telling the advocate about the circumstances of the
assault. The advocate will not summon the police, but will assist
you in understanding and choosing your own options. If you choose
to file a report, the advocate will also help you through initial
meetings with the police, and will stand up for you on your
behalf.
One more thing: Although it may be tempting to take a shower, do
NOT do so before you seek medical attention. Your perpetrator
may have left DNA evidence in the form of semen, or fragments of
skin under your fingernails.
9.4 What if someone is accidentally
exposed to HIV?
Seek medical attention immediately. There is a post-exposure treatment for HIV which is used by
medical practitioners who accidentally stick themselves with
HIV-infected needles. The treatment involves taking medications
for several weeks, but it must begin within 72 hours of exposure.
If you do not begin the treatment within that time, you are going
to have an unpleasant wait until you are able to take your next
HIV test.
10.0 About the
FAQ
10.1 Who maintains
this FAQ?
This FAQ is maintained by Aaron Lawrence
(njescort@aol.com).
10.2 What is the FAQ's
disclaimer?
This FAQ is intended to serve only as a
basic reference of information on the Male Prostitution Industry.
It is not meant to serve as a complete treatise of all
information available about the community, as there are sometimes
multiple correct answers to these questions. The FAQ is not
meant to serve as legal counsel or medical advice; appropriate
professionals should always be consulted when making a decision
which may impact your health or well-being. This FAQ also
acknowledges that it was written by one author, and therefore is
subject to all of his personal opinions and biases.
10.3 What is the history of this
FAQ
Version 0.1 of this FAQ was released in August,
2000 to gather feedback and suggestions. The FAQ is not yet
complete, and should be considered as a work in progress.
10.4 What if I have a correction,
addition, or suggestion for the FAQ?
Please e-mail
them to njescort@aol.com.
Understanding the Male
Hustler
Don Thomas © 2011 except photos that are used by permission. All Rights Reserved. This site and all of its contents are protected under U.S. and international copyright laws. Reproduction, alterations, or reposting of any image is strictly prohibited without prior written consent. Galleries designed by Prism Web Designs, Inc. Photography copyrighted by HunkHunter's Haunts or Don Thomas, as credited. Logo design by GAP Web Design.